New Math

Larry Summers is still feeling the heat from some rather inflammatory remarks about women. Summers, the President of Harvard University opined that women might not have the right stuff when it comes to math and science and that’s why men dominate the fields. What he didn’t count on was a lot of angry women who disagree with him. Women in Math and Science. And English. And Business. And Art. At first I found myself siding with these brainy broads of academia who see all women and men as equals. Normally, so blatant an offense would send my feminist meter off the charts. Unfortunately, I resemble his remark.

President Summers said the problem about “issues of intrinsic aptitude.” He may lack the intrinsic aptitude to speak in normal sentences. His point was that when it comes to math and science, the dearth of dames ain’t just about gender discrimination. It’s about not being as smart as men. One Summers supporter defended the “provocative” speech. The way he explained it is if you look at a graph of women and men and mathematic ability, the women are all bunched up in the middle, while the men are most represented at either ends.. the smarty pants end and the dopey end. He went on further adding that the prison population proves the point. It’s mostly men. I guess those would be the guys making up the dopey end of the graph. But, where does that leave all those financial geniuses now facing felony counts? They’re good at math and going to prison. Statistical anomalies I suppose.

So, why am I not joining the ranks of those incensed by President Summers remarks? After all I was voted “Class Woman’s Libber” in high school back when Title Nine was the newest chapter in the fight for equality. I am eternally grateful for the sisters who blazed the trail. But the ugly truth is I still have to use my fingers to add 8 to 5. The ‘Seven Times Table’ remains a deep dark mystery. And don’t get me started on Pythagorean’s Theorem, because I certainly can’t. Am I the living embodiment of the statistical bulge that lacks the full strength math gene?

I mentioned this to a male friend who has lived a life of lawful behavior, but confessed that he is also mathematically challenged. I asked if he feels bloated once a month and craves chocolate every 4 weeks. It turns out he is in touch with his feminine side and is known to gore on Ring Dings to get the monkey off his back. However he defended his masculinity by adding that he also has those innate characteristics that make men… well, men. He leaves the wet towel on the floor rather than hanging in up. He swigs down milk directly from the container and sticks it back in the fridge even if there’s little more than backwash. He never replaces a finished roll of toilet tissue. And of course, he never asks for directions when lost.

What does this all add up to? It’s clear that the often controversial President Summers has learned his lesson and calculated just how much crow he has to eat to keep his job. He’s apologized publicly at least 4 times. As for me it’s created a division with my otherwise feminist brethren. I’m just wondering if there is something to this instinctive inability to remember what 7x9 equals. Or am I just too lazy to replace the toilet roll?

By Stephanie Becker