Megabucks Sneakers are Worth the Price

It may be one small step for Adidas but it would be one gigantic leap for my wallet. That’s if I splurge on the German sportswear manufacturer’s new ‘Adidas 1’ running shoes. At $250 they’re too pricey to be called sneakers. That’s right. $250 – a new world record. It was front page news last week. After all it is the first “smart shoe.” (Okay, second if you count Agent 99’s shoe-phone). This sole enhancement device is equipped with a tiny microprocessor that instantly gauges the runner’s pace and weight versus the terrain. Then it automatically adjusts the shoe’s cushioning, making 5 million calculations per second. For that kind of money the shoe should tie itself. Unfortunately, that’s not even offered as an upgrade option.

Batteries are included and are good for about 100 hours of run time. For marathoning Kenyans, that adds up to about 1300 miles. But if you’re a paunchy middle aged chick from Burbank keeping a plodding pace, it’s more like 578 miles, not counting potty breaks.

I figured out that if the ‘Adidas 1’ could get me through 600 miles it would end up costing around 48 cents a mile. That might be a bargain considering the current price of gasoline. Although my trunk space is kind of limited, making it hard to car pool a swim team and pick up the dry cleaning. And what happens if there’s a 404 Error and your shoes need to be rebooted?

In a time of Congressional steroid use slap-downs I wonder if this technological advancement isn’t really an unfair advantage. Is this micro-chipped cushioned comfort really cheating? Is the ‘Adidas 1’ the Rosie Ruiz of footwear? (Rosie infamously “won” the 1980 Boston Marathon by skipping most of the race and jumping in for the last ½ mile) Or will it become a necessity like a swimmer in one of those sleek full body Fastskin swimsuits zipping through the water? Or is it an unnecessary accoutrement like a rear spoiler on a Corolla? After all our ancestors traipsed around the planet for a few 100,000 years without so much as a Birkenstock. And the history of running is filled with stories of the barefoot champions. Ethiopia’s Abebe Bikila is known as the greatest Olympic marathoner and he won a gold medal shoeless. South African Zola Budd set a blistering pace with naked tootsies back in the 80s. And in the 40s, Charlie Robbins won two national marathon titles while shoe-shorn. He did slip on socks when the temperature dipped below freezing. Barefoot but not brainless.

I called my local sporting goods store to see if I could get a test drive. For that kind of money I wanna take those puppies for a spin. Alas, the shoes only come in men’s sizes and nothing small enough for me. Talk about your digital divide. Did Adidas miss hearing about Title 9? Or does it subscribe to the Lawrence Summers theory of athletics. Women just don’t add up when it comes to expensive footwear. Hello? Does Manolo Blahnik mean anything to you? Perhaps the Germans don’t think we’re well-heeled enough to plop down that kind of dough when toe cleavage is not involved.

But, I am going to buy a pair. It was Adidas’s arch enemy Nike that convinced me. I did the math. An original pair of Nike Air Jordan’s bought 20 years ago for $200 is reportedly worth several thousand dollars today. The ‘Adidas 1’ isn’t a shoe, it’s an investment and now I’m soled.

By Stephanie Becker