Happy Valentine's Day - Celebrate Love, Celebrate Yourself

Romance, love, lust, big business or plain indifference, February 14th is here bringing with it Valentine's Day. Research reveals that approximately 74% of Americans celebrate Valentine's Day (Maritz Ameripoll). Furthermore women purchase approximately four out of every five Valentine cards and receive nearly half of all cards. Yet, men buy more cards for this day than any other except for Mother's day. In these modern times, Valentine's Day is celebrated by exchanging cards and gifts of flowers, chocolates, cookies and candies, and also by spending time together with our love enjoying pastimes such as eating out, parties, movie theater and other romantic outings. Where did the Valentine's Day tradition begin? Is romance still alive and well? Can the romantically involved as well as the single celebrate it with equal gusto? The answer is definitely yes. What do the younger generation think of Valentine's Day? Relax, read on and put a spring into your step and a warm fuzzy feeling into your life.

The Origin of Valentine's Day…
There are varying opinions as to the actual origins of Valentine's Day. Some experts say that it originated when the roman emperor Claudius II had a difficult time recruiting men into his army. He believed that this was because men wanted to stay at home with their loves and their wives. To solve the problem, he decided to outlaw marriage for all young single men. However there was at this time a Roman priest named Valentine who did not agree and wed couples in secret. He was eventually discovered, thrown in prison and sentenced to death on February the 14th. Legend says that he had befriended the young blind daughter of his jailor and that on the day of his execution, he sent a note to his young friend signing it "From your Valentine". Some go further and say that when the young girl opened the note, a yellow crocus flower fell into her hand and for the first time in her life she saw brilliant color and could see.

For other origins, we can go back to an early Pagan festival of fertility as early as the fourth Century BC. February 15th was set aside for the roman feast of Lupercalia, a celebration of Spring and fertility in celebration of Lupercus, the Roman god who was believed to be the protector of shepherds and flocks. Animals were scarified; feasts were held and during the festival, it is believed that young women wrote love letters and left them in a large urn. Young men would then draw a note from the urn and pin the note to their sleeve (hence the saying "wearing his heart on his sleeve"). Once the young man found the woman who wrote the note, they would be intimately joined until the next Lupercalia. We are told that women did have a choice in the matter and could indeed say no to a would be lover.

Where does Cupid and that famous symbol of bow and arrow drawn come from? Well, apparently there is no link but the Cherub, actual name Eros, fits in so well with the story that he has become the accepted St Valentine's Day mascot.

Valentine's Day in other countries…
Yes, there are many different customs celebrated around the world on this day of love and romance. For example, in Scotland, equal amounts of young unmarried men and women get together and write their name on a piece of paper. The notes are put into hats, one for the men and one for the women. The names are divided up. Individuals might get more than one name but are supposed to stay with the Valentine that has chosen them. In Spain, courting couples exchange gifts. Husbands send their wife roses. In Italy it was customary for an engaged couple to announce their engagement on this day. Worldwide poets and romantics have penned their admiration and love on this auspicious occasion. Other rituals and beliefs associated with Valentine's Day include picking a dandelion that has gone to seed, taking a deep breath and blowing the seeds into the wind while voicing an alternate "He loves me, he loves me not". In some countries a young woman may receive a gift of clothing from a young man; if she keeps the gift, it means she will marry him. The list goes on from love seats to loving spoons and loving cups traditions. Beliefs and traditions abound. What about color when thinking about giving roses? It is said that red roses are for passion, white for true love, yellow for friendship, pink for joy and black for goodbye.

Valentine's Day nowadays…
Is Valentine's Day really a special opportunity when we can all turn our thoughts momentarily to love and romance, or has it become big business to the point that some of us feel it's now over commercialized and lost its true meaning? I asked a group of young people and rather surprisingly, overall, they did not seem excited. Most thought that Valentine's Day was OK if you are dating someone; others said that if you were with someone, you should love them and be romantic every day and that having Valentine's Day put conditions and pressure on love. Most agreed however that they would probably buy someone a card and nearly everyone said they would be happy to receive a Valentine's Day card or gift.

Next I turned my attention to singles. What do they think about Valentine's Day and how would they celebrate? Some said they would ignore it. Other would choose to treat themselves and do something special for them saying that love and romanticism should be celebrated with or without a partner. So the news is good. Overall, even with our hectic lives, the idea of love is alive and well, and millions of people are out there plotting and planning the perfect Valentine surprise, gift or card.

Moving on, let's look now at the top ten tips for your best Valentine's Day yet, and remember, married, divorced, widowed or single, whoever and wherever you are, have a Happy Valentine's Day!

Top ten tips for a Happy Valentine's Day

1. De-stress. It's a personal choice. Celebrate it or ignore it' it's up to you.
2. Expect the best, but remain realistic. If your love or partner forgets all other special days, it does not mean they are a dead loss if they don't celebrate this one.
3. If no one sends you a card or gives you a gift, celebrate love, life and yourself by giving yourself something special.
4. If you can't find that special card that expresses all that you're longing to say, make one yourself, straight from the heart. It could be your best sent card yet.
5. Forget calories. When your love surprises you with a box of fattening goodies, smile, enjoy them and share them around.
6. Be bold, send a card to someone you've admired from afar. Just do it.
7. If you're alone, celebrate in style and ask yourself: Do I want or need more love in my life? If the answer is yes, start making the changes now to make it happen. If the answer is no, feel blessed and celebrate the wonder of life, love and you.
8. Valentine's Day does not have to be expensive. Simple gifts, heart felt words, time spent together, that's what's really important.
9. Light up someone's life, send a card to a person you know won't get anything. Make them smile and don't tell them it was you.
10. Write on a piece of paper the 10 top reasons why your Valentine is to you the greatest love of all, and then present it to them in style.

By Petrene Soames
Petrene Soames is the author of The Essence of Self-Healing: How to bring health and happiness into your life (FleetStreet Publications – March 2001). She is a leading authority in healing and self-awareness, an inspirational speaker, a veteran television and radio guest featured in national and international press. She has worked successfully over the past 22 years as a consultant and therapist, helping others achieve their highest potential. Visit her web site at http://Timeismine.com or call (281) 363-9983.